The Red Flag Index

Overwhelming early affection designed to create rapid attachment.

Vivid promises about a future they never plan to deliver.

Pretending to be bad at tasks to avoid doing them.

No interests, no career direction, 'figuring it out' indefinitely.

Treats every 'no' as the start of a negotiation.

Cruel or dismissive to people who can't push back.

Loans, Venmos, or 'small favors' inside the first month.

Drinks to incapacity on the first several dates.

Intermittent low-effort contact designed to keep you hopeful.

Sudden, total disappearance with no closure.

Shutting down completely instead of engaging with conflict.

Backhanded compliments designed to lower your self-esteem.

Deliberately making you question your own perception of reality.

Explosive, disproportionate reactions to minor criticism.

Sharing heavy unprocessed trauma to manufacture instant intimacy.

Every story ends with them as the wronged party.

Manufactures drama to 'see how you react.'

No close friends kept longer than 2–3 years.

Hides the relationship from friends, family, or social media.